That wonderful time of the year

Here I am trying to think coherently at this nutty hour thanks to daylight savings time. It's not like we don't have electricity and can't burn the candles frivolously. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. Mayhem # 1 doesn't know how to work the light switch, so, yes she does burn the candles. I'll be right back. I have to get her up so she can drain the hot water heater. Thank goodness it's gas. My editor suggested I try paragraphs so here goes.

Ladies, have you dusted off those white shoes yet? Unfortunately, I'm going to have to go shopping. You see, I'm 30 pounds smaller than I was this time last year. Even my shoes are too big. I like being smaller, but I have such a hard time shopping for myself. Mostly because I hate spending money on me. The girls and I went out last night, but didn't find anything for Mayhem # 2. She's sort of into junior sizes, but the styles...EEEEK. And the styles aren't much better for adults. I didn't look for me because all day long the girls had been fighting with each other. I decided to take them home and put them to bed. Yeah, you can do that with teenagers too.

I really need Mr. Mayhem to go shopping with me. I'll try something on and he asks, "Do you like it?"
"Yeah. Do you like it?"
"It looks nice. Let's get it."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe we can find one that's not so expensive."
"Gimme that." And off he goes to pay for it. That's the kind of help I need. When he buys more than one, I just about have a heart attack. (Not because he's cheap, but because there are so many dollar signs.) Wish me luck. I'm probably on my own this time. Of course I could make something, in all my spare time. Oh wait a minute. In all the years I've been sewing, I never have made anything for me. It's so sad.