"Friends"

I must not be a very good one because I don’t have any. Not any that know how to use the phone to ask me to lunch or include me in whatever they’re doing. Oh, and I know they do things with other people because I hear them talking and laughing about it at church.

This happened for the first time about 8 years ago. I had a friend I did stuff with several times a week. Even if it was just hanging out at her house or she helped me with my sewing. Then her oldest child graduated and she got a job to help pay for college. I’d call to visit and she would never return my calls. I finally quit calling. She moved from the friend category to the acquaintance category.

If there is any calling and getting together that gets done, I have to initiate it. Last Sunday, a friend and I tentatively planned a lunch date for Friday. She said she’d call me to firm it up. I kept waiting. I kept my schedule open. I finally called her Thursday afternoon. She and her other friend had planned to do something for the youth group on Friday night so she would want to leave work early so she wouldn’t have time for me to pick her up and go have lunch with me. ("Oh, by the way, did you know about this event and would Mayhem #2 want to come?" "Well no I didn’t know and Mayhem #2 has football games every Friday night. Like I’ve told you before.") She said, "I’m glad you called because I wouldn’t have and then I would’ve felt guilty…."

I invited another friend to a scrapbook get together I’m having tomorrow. On her invitation I wrote something like "This is just another excuse for you to come visit me." I’ve been to visit her and she lives about 45 minutes from here. We’ve sent e-mails back and forth and talked about getting together. I’ve even tried to schedule another trip out to her house, but it didn’t fit into her schedule. That was cool. The e-mail that I got last night said something like, "I laughed at your note and if you’ve tried to get me to visit before I’m unaware of it."

Maybe this is petty jealousy on my part. I don’t know. I just know it hurts.