Need a score card?

We made it through the weekend without Mr. Mayhem, but it’s taken me this long to tell you about it. On Friday the school had a memorial service for the teacher who committed suicide. I went to be there for Mayhem #1 in case she needed me. She was doing pretty good. The service was simple and every time we were asked to pray, I had to smile at all the sniffling that was going on. I felt ok because I knew I could cry, but I didn’t feel like it. I guess that sounds kind of weird. Mayhem #1 and I made it through tearless until the band director stepped up with his trumpet and played Taps. I knew it was coming because I had seen him walk in with the horn. She told me she didn't want to go to the funeral the next day, and I was ok with that.

After that, we stopped by the band hall and picked up her horn so she would have it for solo and ensemble competition on Saturday. Then we got Mayhem #2 from the middle school and ran home long enough to drop off all their stuff. Mayhem #2’s birthday was back in October, but she never got a party because my mom was with us then. She wanted to take some friends to see Phantom of the Opera so I suggested that we take everyone out to dinner and the movie and make that her party. She thought that was cool.

We ran around picking up teenage girls until the back seat of my Accord was overloaded and Mayhem #1 and I were tucked in the front seat with the seats pulled forward. Off we went to TGIFridays for appetizers and desserts. I walked in and said we had six for the non-smoking, giggly section, where we won’t bother anyone. Mayhem #1 and I decided the waiter wasn’t as good looking as the last one we had there, but he was cute. He kept scaring Mayhem #2 every time he refilled her drink because she was too busy giggling with the other girls to be aware of what was going on.

Next, we crammed them back in the back seat, and we were off to the movie. One of the girls’ mom met us there. (I think she was too scared to come to dinner with all that silly nonsense, but she said she had to work late.) I saw that the theater had student tickets with ids (two bucks cheaper) so I asked the girls if they had their school ids. The unanimous answer was no. I decided to ask anyway. I said, "Obviously I have 5 students, but they don’t have their id." The girl behind the counter said, "I’ll take your word for it." That struck me as funny. Couldn’t she look up and see they were students? The movie was great again and the girls were just raving about it. The other mom took two of the girls home so there was no more car cramming or complaining about bony bottoms.

Once we got home, there was a message on the machine from the mom of one of the boys in Mayhem #1’s brass ensemble. He wanted to go to the teacher’s funeral the next day and asked if we could go to the competition early to see if the ensemble’s performing time could be moved from the afternoon to the morning. Mayhem #1 said yes, but she didn’t like having to miss some of her extra sleep time. We loaded her horn and keyboard and headed out about 9am Saturday morning. She took her keyboard so she could practice with the saxophone player she was accompanying.

The ensemble found a place to practice and the performed pretty quickly. They all thought it was pretty bad because the tuba player couldn’t play his part. Surprisingly they made a 1 and they will take it to state on Memorial Day. Next, Mayhem #1 had to accompany the saxophone player and that went well. She had about an hour and a half before her solo time so I went to Sonic and bought lunch. It was better than the snack bar food. She practiced while I was gone, ate lunch, marked her music(You have to number the measures for the judges.),went to go play and came right back. The judge was at lunch and running late. I hate to hurry up and wait. During the four hours we have been here, I’ve been sitting in a high school cafeteria and that is the "warm up area". That means that about 50 kids or more are all playing their different instruments and different songs at the same time. I’ve done this before so I’ve gotten smart. I have my earplugs in and a book to read. Everyone laughs at the earplugs, but they cut down on the headache.

Mayhem #1 went off again to play her solo. I’m sitting there praying she does well. Piano is her first love and it means so much to her to do well at it. She comes back with a fist pumping, "YEAH!" Now we just have to wait another hour or so for the score. (Drum roll please.) It’s a 1! And since she had it memorized, she takes it to state. It was a very good day.

I think, however, the best news came yesterday. She came out of school with this grin on her face and a spring in her step. I sort of had an idea what it might be about and I was right. One of her friends asked her to prom! I know it’s three months away, but we are so like going dress shopping this weekend! I’m not sure Mr. Mayhem knows that yet. Does now. And there was much rejoicing at our house!

Please pray

This week has just been awful for Mayhem #1. She wasn't able to work her last two days because of her asthma, and she felt guilty about that. She is doing better now. Wednesday she found out that one of the teachers at the high school had died. She didn't have him last year, but she had him the two previous years. The kids all loved him. He had taught most of the juniors and seniors and I think he may have had some of the sophomores this year. Then they found out yesterday that he had committed suicide. He was a Vietnam vet and they said he was struggling with some memories. The kids are all in shock. One of the teachers, a friend of mine, got to Mayhem #1 and had her call me. I stayed with her for a while at school and then she decided to come home. She was concerned about messing up her exemption status for her finals. I think she made the right choice because it would have been impossible to stay composed at school. Every time she thought she had it together, someone would hug her or something and she'd lose it again. There is a service this afternoon at 3:00 in the gym. On top of all this, her solo and ensemble competition is tomorrow. And Mr. Mayhem left to see his dad this morning, so please pray for me that I can deal with all of this.

Jerks

Why is it that Mayhem #1's second boss turns out to be a jerk like her first boss? They didn't do exactly the same thing to her, but the term still applies. Remember, Mayhem #1 resigned last week, but agreed to work through this Tuesday to get through the Valentine rush. She worked last Friday. She was told that it was her turn to clean the bathroom. She hasn't done it the whole time she's been there because the chemical fumes are bad for her asthma. She has told them that. It has been ok so far. It wasn't ok Friday. Mayhem #1 said the boss was in a bad mood. I also know that Mayhem #1 was still feeling guilty for quitting. So, she cleaned the bathroom. (Remember I took her to the doctor on Monday because her asthma was causing her trouble.) She had to take her rescue inhaler several times before she got home and it didn't get any better. She took it easy Saturday afternoon after she spent the morning taking the ACT, and trying to breathe. She didn't get better, so instead of going to church Sunday morning, she and I went to the doctor's office. They put her on prednisone and told her to take it easy. I told her with all her steroids she was going to start talking like Awnold. We made sure we got a note for work saying she couldn't work that afternoon.

After lunch, I went to the store to show the boss the note and explain that Mayhem #1 may not be able to be there Monday either. As I waited to talk to the assistant manager, because I didn't see the manager, she walks out from the back room with her baby in her arms. I politely showed her the note and explained about the bathroom cleaning and the asthma attack. Mr. Mayhem told me not to jump all over the manager about the bathroom incident so I didn't.

The boss barely looked at the note and told me that Mayhem #1 is responsible to find her own replacement. She said, "It's not my policy. It's corporate policy and I told her when I hired her that that was the way it was." She sat the baby on the floor and gave me some names and numbers for Mayhem #1 to call. This is an hour and a half before she's suppose to be at work! I fumed all the way home. Mayhem #1 did find a replacement. (What were they going to do if she didn't? Fire her?)

I asked Mayhem #1 to find her employee handbook for me. In the section on attendance it says, "You will be asked to find a replacement if you are unable to work an assigned shift, except for absences due to personal illness." Well, she wasn't being sick for her sister! I think it was a personal illness. Now she doesn't want to finish her two days she said she'd work. I told her we'd see how she' feeling after school since that is more important than work. I did say that if she was feeling ok she should complete her commitment. If she's not working tonight, I may just take the handbook up and show the boss how wrong she is and say we're done.

I hate jerks. Especially when they mess with my kids.

Test? Test? Is this thing on?

Is anybody there? I thought I'd check since I realized that I've been doing this silliness for one year today. I'm still not sure that I'm doing it right. I'm not as prolific as Mr. Possum and not as deep as some of you other folks. And I don't always understand LittleA's comments, but I don't always understand him in real life either. I've met some really nice folks, and some of you nice folks are pretty crazy. And that's ok too. Thanks for stopping by.

I'll ramble about something else now.

Mayhem #1 turned in her resignation last night. Instead of confronting her boss about the overloaded schedule, she just said she had too many activities coming up. This is the truth and she's a little concerned about her grades. When I picked her up, she said, "Can I cry now?" She works three more days. She's helping get past the very busy Valentine season. I told her we could come visit everyone anytime. I also suggested that she could reapply there when she was ready to look for a job this summer. I think she's looking forward to having some breathing room. And some sleeping time. Priorities!

Yesterday while I was driving from one place to the other (I do that alot.), I was listening to Paul Harvey. Between page 2 and page 3, he was doing a commercial for the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. He was talking about ordering one for your sweetheart, sending it to her at work and all her co-workers would know what a wonderful guy you are (Like that's any of their business.) He gave the phone number and said call now, "A bear counselor is waiting to talk to you."
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Bear counselor? Like, is it too stressful to be a teddy bear? Do they need someone to unburden themselves too? Too much hugging has made them neurotic? Does the Love Bear wish he hadn't had the "Love" tattoo put on? What?

Why doesn't your mom work?

Mayhem #1 had to field that question from her boss yesterday. Her boss is probably 10 or 12 years younger than me with an eight month old baby. Mayhem #1 told her, "Mom and dad decided that when they had kids, mom would stay home and take care of them."
Then she asked, "How can they do it?"
"My dad's an accountant." (I'm not sure exactly how that fits into the equation.) "We don't have a lot of stuff." At this point the boss probably stopped listening.

I was proud of Mayhem #1's answer. As I've told them, I didn't bring kids into this world to let other people raise them. I'm not going to get on my soap box about whether or not moms should work, but it made me feel good that she understood why I'm "just a mom." Sometimes it is kind of hard to find some self-worth when you're just a mom, but the you have to remind yourself that what you're doing is right. My girls think I'm COOL! What other endorsement do I need?

Mayhem #1 is going to have to talk to her boss about her schedule. It's tearing her up, but she may have to quit. They have her scheduled for 15 hours next week. And they have her scheduled to work on Saturday which she told them in advance she had to have off for solo and ensemble competition. The boss isn't living up to her end of the bargain. They said they would be flexible with her school schedule, and Mayhem #1 gives them plenty of notice of when she can't work. I told her that she has the rest of her life to work for a living, but you're only a high school senior once. There are too many once-in-a-lifetime things that are happening now for her to be stressed over a job. Yes, I know we wanted her to get the job, but her main job right now is school. And, yes, she'll have to get another job, but maybe in the summer. It has been a good experience for her. We'll just wait and see what happens.

What will happen today

Well, I'm sitting here waiting to get a call from Mayhem #1 to go get her from school. It seems that Mayhem #2 shared her crud from last week with her sister. It was bad enough last week, but Mayhem #1 has asthma and was having trouble breathing this morning. She took her inhaler and it causes her to shake and she hates it. I told her breathing was more important.

If she comes home, I don't know if I'll get the Me Day I wanted. There is an exhibit at the art museum I want to see and, of course, I've waited to the last minute and this is the last weekend it will be in town. Today is my only chance to see it. Oh well. I'll just play it by ear.

Last night, they handed out the award for the science fair. Mayhem #2 was thrilled to win her division. She finally has a trophy. She said, "I never knew you could get a trophy for being a nerd." I called her "Nerdly". She was so proud. Now she gets to take the project to the regional level. The teacher said there would have to be some changes made for that, but hopefully nothing major. Tomorrow she goes to solo and ensemble competition with her oboe. I hope that goes just as well.

Not right now

I know Mr. Mayhem told you about our possible foreign exchange student yesterday. We found out today that she turned us down. Her current sponsor thought she might be scared of all the changes. (It can't be Mr. Mayhem. She hasn't met him yet.) I talked to the teacher who told me about the situation and she can't see why the girl would say no since she keeps asking the teacher if she has heard of another sponsor for her. Oh well. My girls will be thoroughly disappointed. I'm disappointed and my spare room won't get cleaned out.

Now for the Thursday Three:

1) Do you have any phobias, and if so, what are they?

I don't like the dark...especially outside. There are too many creepy things out there. I don't like sleeping with the windows open because it lets all the dark in. (See #2 for the rest of the story.) When I was a teen-ager, and home alone, I had to have music or the TV on because I didn't want to here any weird noises. Maybe paranoid not phobia is a better word.

2) If you do have one (or several) has it (or have they) ever been so intrusive in your life that it (or they) caused you embarrassment?

Several summers ago the ac went out. We were forced to sleep with the windows open. I remember dreaming that there was someone looking in the window over the rose bushes. In my dream I immediately screamed at the top of my lungs. Mr. Mayhem told me that really I started soft and kept getting louder. He said he had two choices: 1) Wake me up or 2) Cover my mouth. He opted for #2.


3) Eagles or Patriots?

If those are my choices, I'll pick the Patriots. I don't like Philadelphia, plus they're a division rival.

So I don't get in trouble

I got scolded last night for not blogging yesterday since Mayhem #2 is well and back in school. It's not like I sit around and watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day. I do have a life. I washed the dishes, grocery shopped, fixed dinner, made phone calls and ran errands for other members of the family. Oh, did I mention carting the kids around where ever they need to go, prodding them to do their homework, praying that the science fair project gets finished before the deadline tomorrow? Huh...I guess I don't have a life. I'm just caught up in all these other people's lives.

Whatever you do, don't let your children grow up to be teen agers. The emotional aspect of living with them will kill you. Mayhem #1 seems to be all stressed out about stuff and starts crying at school. She's worried about a date for prom. Does she ask someone, since no one will ever ask her (her words) or does she wait to see if someone asks her. She wishes someone would ask her out period. Some of her friends at school who are boys, who she might be interested in, always come to her about their girl problems, but they never seem to notice that she's a girl. I try to tell her I didn't have very many dates in high school. Mostly I had a couple of lousy boyfriends, and she doesn't want to do that. I encourage her. I cry with her. I hurt for her. This is also the child who doesn't like change. I think that even though she's excited about college, she's a little worried too. Her passive aggressive tendecy keeps showing up when I remind her to fill out those scholarship applications or study for her ACT test. (Sometimes I want to kick her father.)

Mayhem #2 definitely feels better because she's back to being argumentative and crabby. I keep trying tell her that the way she says things sounds like she's yelling. I get very upset when I ask a question and she gives me that "In you face" answer. Sometimes I don't even get the whole question out before she' upset and yelling at me. I can't win. If I remind her about something it's, "I KNOW MOM!" If I don't remind her and it doesn't get done, it's my fault. She's also at that age when the hormones go on wild roller coaster rides. Somebody let me off. PLEASE!

Here lately I feel like everyone is in crabby, lousy, depressed mood. I wish things would even out. I have a very hard time trying to cheer everyone up or calm them down if they're mad about something.

I've come to the conclusion that life is hard.

The last days of Pomp-ee-eye

I haven't been able to stop by much this week because Mayhem #2 has been sick. The only reason I've been able to jot something down the last two days is she stayed in her bed all night. I've been finding her wrapped up in a blanket on the couch every morning. She complained about being cold so we finally sent the extra blanket to bed with her.

Yesterday I had to take her back to the doctor. The horse pills he gave her Monday weren't making her throat any better and she was nauseous alot. Someone at church was nice enough to ask me if it could be mono. Great. I didn't even want to think about that. While we were waiting, as is the requirement when you go see the doctor, she was watching Toy Story in her two coats and the above mentioned blanket wrapped around her legs. I was looking at a magazine and came across an advertisement for a movie that would be coming out soon. I showed it to her and said, "Dad and I have been there."
"Pom-pay 2?" she said.
"Uh, no ," I said. " That's the way you spell Pompeii with two i's on the end."
"I just thought it was the Roman number 2," she said.
"Don't you remember when you were in The Music Man and the mayor use to always say Pomp-ee-eye? He said it that way because it was spelled that way!"
"Oh," she said.

When we got back to the examining room and gave the list of complaints to the nurse she asked Mayhem #2 to take off her jacket so the doctor could listen to her breathe.
"Which one?" I said.
"How many does she have on?"
"Two."
"Both."
"Ok. We'll just wrap up in the blanket til the doctor shows up."

We got all situated and I asked Mayhem #2 how she was feeling.
"Cold. I was warm till she made me take my coats off. And I have no circulation in my legs."

This last malady happens when your child gets so big that he/she has alot of leg to hang off the side of the examining table. Our table has a wooden ledge around the side that holds the little mattress on. When you sit on it, the mattress goes down, the legs go up slightly, and the wooden ledge cuts off the circulation right above the knee. I finally turned her sideways and propped her against the wall.

The blood test was normal and the mono test was negative, but she could still have it if we tested her too early. He didn't think so though. He thinks she has a flu-like bug on top of the ear infection. The ears were the only thing that had slightly improved since Monday.

I guess I better go wake her up and see how she's feeling. I'm afraid she's going to mess up my Me Day. That's the way Mom's world goes.

Sing with me now!

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear Mr. Mayhem(aka Little A).
Happy Birthday to you!

I happen to know he wants glorp for his birthday. I think blue glorp would be good.

What shall I do today?

It's Friday so it's Me Day. It will be a bit shorter than usual because the kids get out of school early. Our little school district has a police force of two. One is usually at the high school and one at the middle school. On Tuesday the officer at the middle school had a massive heart attack and died. His service is today at the high school auditorium, so those two schools are getting out early. Mayhem #2 is pretty shook up about it. The officer's granddaughter is in one of her classes and both of the girl's parents have died in the last few years. Mayhem #2 is very sensitive to others. She's told me that she can't stand to go to the service, but I'll ask her one more time this afternoon.

Mayhem #1 got an exciting letter from her college. Because of her ACT scores, they are awarding her 10 hours of credit. Cool! That's almost a semester. She's taking the test again though because the scholarship she was shooting at wants one more point on her score.

I'm so excited! For the first time ever I'm going to answer the Thursday Three!

1. The Household Chore I Like (I'm paraphrasing.)

I love yard work. I like to mow the grass, but Mr. Mayhem is going to have to get me a new self-propelled mower so I can do it. Our front yard is a very steep hill and our old mower doesn't self propel anymore. Laundry's not too bad.

2. The Household Chore I Don't Like

I don't like doing the dishes or cleaning the bathrooms. I think I hate them because they're never ending. The dishes are an every day thing. Yuck! The bathrooms could be too with the slobs I live with. I had a friend tell me she took up sewing because it was the only thing that she could do and her family wouldn't destroy in 30 seconds. Boy do I understand that. Why is it that four people live here and make messes, but only one of them cleans up?

3. The Household Chore That's Been Put Off

Painting the rest of the house. I've painted the girls' rooms and my bedroom and bathroom (Ok Mr. Mayhem did most of our room because of my hernia. He doesn't like to paint.) The walls in the rest of the house are off white. I hate off white. Of course we've only lived here 10 years so maybe I can get around to it on a Me Day.

The Music of the Night

In honor of MLK day, the girls and I went to the movies to see Phantom of the Opera. Ok, maybe there's not a direct connection but, "He was oppressing her." Mayhem #1 loves to play the music on the piano and it got a thumbs up from her piano teacher. There was more singing than I expected. I know that sounds silly, but I didn't expect it to be just like the play, just on film. It was very good. The special effects at the opening were awesome. Mayhem #2 came home and stole Mayhem#1's Phantom piano book and started playing it on her oboe. She wants the DVD. She wants the CD. Dad called her obsessive, compulsive.

Mayhem #1 decided to do a movie review for the school on-line paper. She got on a few web sites to get some more info and found out that the phantom guy is really pretty hot. The other guy was hotter in the film. It's amazing what a different perspective you get on a movie when you see it with two teen-age girls.

I'm not concerned about them looking at these guys. They freak out if Dad has his shirt off. I have to admit I liked the Dukes of Hazzard(had a poster on my ceiling in the college dorm) and Magnum P.I. (and he had his shirt off alot.). Mayhem #1 has a CD by Superchick and we've been listening to it lately. Two of the songs are "Barlow Girls" and "Princes and Frogs." I highly recommend them for teen-age girls. This is a Christian group, but these songs don't talk alot about God, but they have the perspective down.

Uh oh. School's out. Gotta run.

Me Day

Today is my first "Me Day." I've decided to set aside a day (hopefully every week) for me. A day when I can do what I want...whether it's repotting plants, working on a scrapbook, doing some rubber stamping, having lunch with a friend. Today I'm having lunch with a friend. We're going to Razzoo's for cajun. I haven't decided if I'm going to be bad or stick with something on my diet. I promised her we wouldn't talk work. She's an at-home mom like me, but she's on the school board. I promise. No griping.

I've already messed up my day by having to go to the grocery store. The youth are baking cakes, brownies, cookies, etc. for a bake sale so I bought some sprinkles. And I have to go to the post office and mail the Christmas letter, finally. I like doing this because everyone tells me how entertaining the letter is. I'd hate to disappoint them.

Both of the girls have to stay after school for different activities so I have a little more time before I have to fix dinner. It's easy though, just a pot of chili. I may stop by Lowe's or Home Depot and check out the pots and potting soil. I have one plant that has seriously outgrown its pot. It's starting to crack.

As for "Mr. ScruffyMan," last night I sang part of a Jungle Book song to him. "Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick the pear, try to use the claw." Don't use lips either. This thing better start laying down pretty soon or he needs longer lips.

Being a Mom

Have you ever thought about being a mom? (Ok guys, maybe you haven't, but you have one and might be married to one. Work with me here.) This thought came to me when I was doing the laundry the other day, and I also thought about Mayhem #1 going off to college. She's done the laundry before, but does she REALLY know how to do the laundry? I don't think so. I thought about when she reached first grade and we bought her a lunch box. A few days before school, I realized to my horror she had no idea how to open her thermos. We had a few practice sessions and things were ok.

As moms, we can't assume the kids know how to do things. Sometimes it's easy to forget to teach them something because I've been doing it so long it's second nature. In a way I feel like I've been a mom since I was twelve. My mom worked two jobs seven days a week. I made sure my older brother got out of bed in the morning, which usually meant I took him a Coke while he was still in bed. I fixed lunches and dinners. A few months ago when I was out of town, my girls were having major league stess over making their lunches for school. Anyway, my point is that I've done house work and cooking for what seems like all my life. I have to remind myself that they haven't. The last few years they have been so busy with school stuff that I haven't really made them do much around the house. Sometimes it's "Easier to do it myself" if I want a job done right or sometime this year.

We moms need to remember that our goal is to work ourselves out of a job. Our kids need to be able to go out in the world and take care of themselves. I'll always be their mom, but I shouldn't always have to think for them and tell them what to do.

This is a little introspective, but I won't be surprised if this kind of thinking happens a bit more between now and next fall.

He made me!

Now that my mom has gone home and the kids are back in school, Mr. Mayhem said I should blog. Blog what I have no idea.

I just finished writing the Christmas letter. If Mr. Mayhem will run my labels tonight I'll work on getting them in the mail this weekend. Last year the letter was on time, but most of my friends aren't surprised when it's late. I'll just save those Christmas cards I bought till next year.

Mayhem #1 has been complaining about a pain in her left side the past few days. I've been perplexed because if it had been on her right I could say it was her appendix. The doctor talked to us and then started poking at her. She doesn't like that. Especially when it hurts. He noticed some bumps we thought were bug bites because she had been to a friend's house that has dogs. Fleas maybe? Nope. She has shingles. Nothing to do but wait. This is weird enough. At least it wasn't her spleen or something.

I took my car to the shop on Wednesday to get the air conditioner fixed. I know that sounds silly in the middle of winter, but without the ac I have no window defroster. That makes for interesting driving on rainy, muggy days like Monday. I struck up a conversation with the friendly guy at the parts counter. For awhile I was in there too regularly with Mr. Mayhem's car. Anyway, our conversation wandered around to how blind we both are. I told him I hate going to a new restaurant because I can't read the menu in the low light "ambiance." I don't want ambiance, I want to see what I'm eating! Mr. Mayhem helped my out by bringing home a larger computer monitor. The kids are like, "That's huge!" What can I say? I'm blind and I need to do something about it....one of these days.

On with the show...This is it!

Here goes the whirlwind of Christmas performances/concerts. Tonight is the opening of the middle school's production of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." Mayhem #2 is Susan. We had to borrow her props. The theatre folks found a beat up trumpet to be her horn and a tiny bow with suction cup arrows for her bow and arrows. Mayhem #2 was not amused. We got an animal horn, looks like a powder horn, and a 3 foot bow with five arrows and quiver. I told her she couldn't really shoot the bow because the arrows are target arrows and someone would wind up with a hole in them. There are a few people she would like to shoot.

Tomorrow is the lighting of the community Christmas tree and Mayhem #1 and the band are playing at that. They usually wear their marching uniforms and Santa hats. The band director said no gloves because it wouldn't be cold. Mayhem #1 was not amused. It's always cold.

Saturday is another play performance. (They skipped Friday because of the tree lighting.) And next week is the high school band concert and the week after that is the middle school concert. Every year the high school band plays the song "Sleigh Ride" and somehow they make it snow on the band director. Mayhem #1 and another girl are in charge of the snow this year. They have no clue. There is no catwalk above the stage and they can't really attach anything to the the light rigging except maybe a box with a pull cord. I hope they figure out something.

There has been a blizzard in my house and there are snowmen everywhere. I started collecting them a few years ago. The tree is up, but naked. Mr. Mayhem is in charge of the lights. As soon as he gets that done (in all his spare time) the girls and I will finish the job. The Christmas letter has not been started and I bought my first present today. For a planner like me, this is a very bad start.

Allow me to reintroduce myself...again

This was my title last Sunday when I tried this. I got about two paragraphs of whining in before the computer froze. I guess this means, "Quit your whinin'."

Oh, wait a minute. My coffee cup's empty. I need more chocolate coffee.

Okay, I'm back.

I guess the big news this week is marching season is over. The only other time they'll have to wear the uniform is for the community Christmas tree lighting where we stand around in the cold, listen to the elementary choirs sing, which you can't hear even with microphones, listen to the band play (yeah band!), and wait for Santa to show up on a fire truck. Anyway...
The band kids are glad marching is over, except for the three guys who also play on the football team. By losing Friday night they blew their playoff chances. The band marched it's show one last time at half time, but we were missing about 20 kids, not to mention the band director. That may not sound like many, but when you only march 85 that's a big chunk. Mr. Mayhem didn't mention to you when he told you about the band competition that two of the boys were throwing up their toenails the morning we were suppose to compete. So, between the "band flu" and the cross country meet, there were a few holes.

Mayhem #1 is so glad it's over. For now the stress level drops. She can actually go to calculus tutorials in the morning, since the band doesn't have to be there at 7:15 anymore, instead of trying to get them in around her work schedule. Speaking of work, she went to work in her pajamas yesterday! Complete with Eeyore slippers. She works at a card shop and they were having an open house in honor of the new movie "The Polar Express." Mayhem #2 and I stopped by to see everyone in their pj's. After we left everyone commented to Mayhem #1 that she didn't look anything like her little sister. She said, "She doesn't look anything like me. I look like the rest of the family." Mayhem #2 is a red head. The rest of us are brunettes.

As far as everything else goes, I don't feel like whinin' this morning. I'm tired of living in limbo. I want my life back, and until my Mom decides to have one I'm stuck. Some days I just can't handle it. You know it's bad when going on a band trip with 85 high school kids is considered a vacation. Oh yeah I wasn't going to whine.

Uh-oh...My coffee cup's empty again. Gotta go.

Hi guys

Thanks for all your prayers. Keep them coming because nothing has changed, except my frustration level is getting pretty high. Tomorrow I'm going to try to get Mom to a doctor to try to get the stomach issues under control.

Friday night I had the priviledge of driving to Venus. How is that possible you ask? Well Venus is a little don't- blink- or- you'll- miss -it town. The kind where the elementary, middle school and high school are all within a stone's throw of each other. And that includes the football stadium and baseball field. The people I was driving with gave these directions, "Get off the freeway at McDonalds and go for awhile then turn right at Whataburger."

The game was pretty uninspiring until the second half. We finally won one with a score of 49-7. Our principal asked me to take a picture of the scoreboard so we could give it to the new head coach as a trophy of his first win. Something told me to take it quick or they'd turn the scoreboard off. Sure enough. I had the camera trained on the board as it counted down the last seconds. I snapped the picture and turned around to my friends, and they told me the score was wiped out.

On the way home, we had to stop at said Whataburger because one of the ladies riding with me is pregnant. Potty stop! The rest of the way home we discussed old TV shows we used to watch: The Virginian, The Rifleman, Big Valley, Dukes of Hazard, Hardy Boys, A-Team, Perry Mason, Matlock, Partridge Family, Battlestar Galactica, Knight Rider. The consensus was that we wished that some station would play reruns of Magnum, P.I. If you didn't notice, most of these shows had cute guys in them. This conversation started when I told them about the Capt. Jack Sparrow and Will Turner posters I bought my girls. Teenage girls never change.

Next week the high school has a by week, but the band has their pre-UIL marching competition on Saturday. Pray. We need it. Plus report cards come out on Thursday. No pass. No play. I told them they better keep those alternates.

Might be awhile

My blogging time may be cut even shorter. If Mom's blood labs come back normal this morning my brother will bring her to my house. I need to figure out how to be a drill sergeant because I want to help her get stronger and eat better. There is no excuse for her to be malnourished except she won't take the time to fix herself something healthy to eat. Pray for us because this will probably get ugly. It's really up to what Mom is willing to do.

This is also Mayhem #1's senior homecoming week. She'll be on the band float for the parade. Last year she got to be on it even though she was a junior, but the trailer was so small she almost got bounced off the end right in front of a fire truck. Every day this week they get to dress up weird. Like pj day, nerd day, twin day, etc. I'll probably have to help her figure that out, although she may not wear her pj's because she says she'll fall asleep.

Next Monday Mayhem #2 tries out for a part for the school play which is "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." She wasn't impressed with the play adaptation of the book, but she still wants a part. She's going to be on one of the middle school floats in the homecoming parade this week.

Give me strength. I can't keep up.

Here and gone again

Well, I'm home for the moment, but on the road again tomorrow to check on Mom. She's still in the hospital and they're running a bunch of tests today. They can't seem to figure out why she still has a fever, where or what the blood infection is or why she is still nauseous when she gets up.

It's taken two days but the laundry is about finished. By Thursday of last week, Mr. Mayhem said that if I didn't come home soon I'd have to spend some time on the phone with him walking him through the laundry routine. Mayhem #2 was extremely clingy when I got home Sunday afternoon. Every time I turned around she was two inches from me. Then again so was Mr. Mayhem. Mayhem #1 had to tell me how hard it was to take care of getting her sister where she needed to be and get herself to school and work. I told her to think of this as practice for next year at college. I think they all realized how much I do for them. Mostly I get tired of thinking for them.

My brother couldn't figure out why I sounded so tired when I called and updated him every night on Mom's condition. Let's see...I got up at 4:30 to be at the hospital early so I wouldn't miss the doctor. I talked with the doctor, even if I had to follow him down the hall. I helped Mom with eating and whatever and I usually didn't get lunch before 3:00. I'd be back at the hospital by 5:00 to help her with dinner, and I would leave between 8:30 and 8:45 to go find some dinner. I usually got to bed a little after 10:00. Repeat for several days. After my brother spent Sunday with her by himself he was pretty exhausted.

I have to commend the nurses. They are fabulous. The doctors on the other hand leave much to be desired. I still can't get over how many people insinuated that Mom's fall was my fault because she lives alone...the doctors, the case manager, the social worker, etc. They see her as an invalid. Four weeks ago she drove herself 250 miles to my house for my niece's wedding. Last week she drove herself to the doctor. With my mother, hard headed is an understatement.

Thank you for your prayers. I think the whole family needs them.

Do I have to tell my wife?

Ok. I’ll try this again. Everything froze on me just a minute ago. It’s a good thing I wasn’t very far along yet.

Mr. Mayhem worked all last weekend to get some pressing projects done for some meetings that he was going to have yesterday. I, being the understanding wife that I am, didn’t complain. I wasn’t thrilled, but neither was he so why make him miserable. He went to the office early and went to retrieve his files from his computer, but half of them were gone. Apparently the server at the new office had a squabble with the server at the old office and they were both very confused. They had to take the new server back to the old server and see if they could patch things up. My bet is that the old server is feeling jealous because he never gets to go anywhere. (Ok… so maybe there’s a more technical explanation, but I am the computer illiterate of the family.) Anyway…. The really sad thing is that his files would have been fine if someone hadn’t accessed them on Monday. He told his boss that the worse thing about this was that he (Mr. Mayhem) was going to have to come home and tell me that he spent two days away from the family for nothing. He prefaced telling me with, "I took this news better than you're going too." What a comforting start. You have to remember that this is the man that came home one day and said, "I quit my job." My apprehension was high. Now he's frantically trying to fix everything. I don't think he'll have to work all this weekend, but probably one day or the other.

No excuse

I looked at my site meter just now and saw how many of you still come by even though I'm a delinquent blogger. The kids went back to school yesterday so my most recent excuse is gone.

Mr. Mayhem took Mayhem #1 to school and I went with Mayhem #2. Two weeks ago we spent hours at school getting registered and picking up her schedule. So we walk in the door and the first thing we have to do is stand in line to get a new schedule. "New" must be a relative term because nothing on her schedule changed. I dropped her at the courtyard, with much complaining, and went to my duty station....the copy room. On the way down the hall I was informed there was no paper. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it hard to make copies without paper? I scrounged around and came up with 6 reems of green paper and one teacher gave me some white so I could do the history teacher's maps. (The kids were going to have to color them and green paper makes most colors look icky.) I spent 2 hours running copies while I kept the paper hidden and only pulled out a little at a time. I have to say that I do feel this is my right. When I filled out my volunteer info form, I completed the "job wanted" blank with Copy Queen. This is the last year the middle school can abuse me.

I picked up Mayhem #1 and was immediately informed that she wasn't going to learn anything in AP English. AP calculus only had 9 students, but they talked too much. There were way more kids than desks in Economics, the Yearbook teacher kept saying that some of the kids would have to go because there were too many, and the assembly where the band was suppose to march into the auditorium didn't work right either. French 3 was good. Art was good. Lunch was good, though overcrowded. The real problem with her schedule, besides a few bad teachers, is that all of her classes except English is only offered once. To get her art class in we were forced to drop honors physics, and move English. Then she still had one empty class and there were only 3 choices she could take. That's how she wound up with yearbook. I told her to hang on until things settled down a bit.

After dropping Mayhem #1 at the house to get ready for work, I went to pick up Mayhem #2. The parking and the pick up system at the middle school is atrocious. It takes forever. As soon as she gets in the car, I hear about how her locker is way down on the other end of the building and upstairs. She only has one class upstairs and it's nowhere near her locker. Her schedule has her running from on end of the building to the other. A locker somewhere in the middle would be nice. I'm going to let her work this out. The homeroom teacher that handed out the lockers she was given has requested that some of them be relocated. Mayhem #2 is very worried about being late to first period because it and the current locker are on opposite ends of the building. They are not allowed to carrry backpacks and lunch boxes to class, especially this class since it is the technology lab. Once again, hang on until things settle down. She practiced her oboe last night and I was informed that her reeds were shot. Funny, but they were fine for the few times she practiced over the summer. I guess I better go call the oboe teacher and see if she has any reeds made. Then I'll have to drive to Arlington (30 minutes) to get them. And pay a fortune...

I know. Hang on until things settle down.......but when?

Surrogate band member

It only took two tries to get in here.  It's been a while and I forgot my user name.  It seems that here lately I really do forget my name. 

Yesterday, Mayhem #1 had to work, so Mayhem #2 and I took her place at the band car wash.  This year's drum major decided to raise money to help fund band camp.  Normally the kids donate canned drinks and bottled water and then have to buy them during camp.  This never made any sense to me.  Sounds like a racket.

So from 1:00 to 2:30, I stood on the street corner holding a sign and waving.  I kept talking to the people as they drove by.  "Come on.  You can do it.  Wave back.  I'm standing here overheating.  The least you can do is wave.  It's a wave, not a commitment!"  I guess it's a good thing they couldn't hear me. 

One guy did talk to me while he was waiting at the light.  He asked who was having the car wash, and when I said the band he asked if it was a good band.  I said yes, and he said, "You must be the flute player." 

"No," I said, "I'm just a mom."  He said, "Congratulations."  Why I have no idea.  Then the light changed.  I laughed.  I guess standing there in shorts and a t-shirt, tucked behind a poster board, wearing Mr. Mayhem's TCU hat, I looked like a teenager.  It made my day until someone suggested he was trying make a pick up.  Granted his car was cool, but the poodle in the back seat just didn't say "Stud."

We were only there for two hours, but by the time we got home we knew where we'd missed with the sunscreen.  I forgot the back of my neck.  And for some reason the back of my right leg and the back of my right hand got burned.  I guess the sun was on that side.  Mayhem #2 got burned just above her water shoes and on the back of her hands.  Who would ever think to sunscreen the back of your hands?  

It's his fault!

Mr. Mayhem fessed up to being the cause of the uncommon amount of rain we've had this month. He said he asked God to water his grass so we wouldn't have to run the sprinklers. As the rain started again this morning, I told him I was beginning to feel like Mrs. Noah. I'm not telling you what he said. And he better not either!

Mayhem #1 hasn't worked this week because of the rain. They consider working in a small metal building during a thunderstorm to be a health hazard. Not to mention, no one would stand in the rain for a snow cone.

I've been working with Mayhem #2 on her room. We've been trying to make it more "her style" with the understanding that she'll keep it neat enough that it won't drive me crazy. I'm going to look for some mosquito netting contraption to go over her "private" corner. How about a dome of silence?

I now have 28 days to get my mom's clothes altered for my niece's wedding. Mom is short, and getting shorter, and has short arms. I really don't like making alterations, but I got nominated. Two pairs of pants and a jacket. I also need to put some darts in Mayhem #2's new capris since she has no waist.

I'm having lunch with a friend today after I take Mayhem #1 to work. (Assuming it's not raining and she can work.) I'm still having lunch with my friend even if it is raining.

Water, water everywhere
And all the boards did shrink.
Water, water everywhere
And not a drop to drink.

Not the relaxing evening I thought...

I know most of you who stop by won't read this till Monday, but this is the only time I've had all week. Mr. Mayhem is out with the office playing games. I hope he doesn't get hurt. He is prone to, you know. Mayhem #1 and #2 have gone to the youth evangelism conference over in Dallas with the rest of the small youth group. And there is the stress for the evening....

The youth guy took them alone. There were two guys and two girls on the bus. Plus Mayhem #1 went with a female Sunday School teacher after work. We've told this guy not to go on outings alone especially with girls and no female sponsor. To top it off, the group is suppose to spend the night at the church and the female Sunday School teacher isn't staying at the church. That means no female sponsor for the night. Plus, two other churches are coming to spend the night in the building. Does any of this sound wrong to anyone but me? I haven't decided if I want to go get them and make them sleep at home. I'll see what Mr. Mayhem thinks.

I did follow part of my plan for the evening. I went to Starbucks with a gift card and got my cafe mocha. I'm stuffed. I'll have my Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Nut ice cream later. Carbs don't count today. I'm trying to be wild and crazy and relax. (I don't think I'm doing it right.)

I'm still here

Quick! Before anyone gets up! I'll try to put a few thoughts down. You know, I often have ideas I'd like to blog about, but by the time I can get around to it, I've forgotten my idea. (Are there too many commas in that sentence?) Here's just some rambling.

Since it's Thursday, I'm taking my friend to chemo. It pretty much takes all day. Once I get her all settled, I'm going to go have lunch with Mr. Mayhem. We haven't decided where were going yet. Nothing fancy is required. It's nice to spend time with him since he's leaving tomorrow to go see his dad.

He's leaving and my mom is coming. My niece is getting married next month so there's a bridal shower to go to. I guess that means I better go shopping soon. Maybe I'll be able to blog this weekend since I'll be sleeping in the living room with the computer. (Well, not with the computer. It's staying on the desk.) Mom's visit requires some special grocery shopping. I have to get the kind of coke she likes, and her coffee. And she doesn't eat bird of any kind. Bring on the sacred cow!

Mayhem #1 still doesn't have a job, but we're still trying. We applied at the Y, and sent in a resume for an internship at the slide library at the Kimbell art museum. We discovered that Mayhem #1 doesn't know how to write a professional letter. She can write any kind of essay you could imagine. We should be able to get her new SAT scores online tomorrow. I sure hope they go up for the sake of scholarships.

Mayhem #2 went to the orthodontist yesterday. Not only did she get her wire changed, but she got rubber bands put on. She is not a happy camper. I made her some pudding and then bought her a Frosty from Wendy's. I never had to cater to Mayhem #1, but Mayhem #2 is a real wimp when it comes to pain. She's slowly working (when I force the issue) at reorganizing her room. Mostly she goes from playing computer games to playing N64 games. (And wishing for an Gamecube.)

First boo boo

We sent the girls off to a youth night at church tonight. It's mostly a hang-out and game night. Sometimes there's a movie. I think they're decorating t-shirts this time. We told Mayhem #1 to call us when they got to the church. The conversation went something like this...

"We're here. Uh, I hit the curb and the tire is sort of skunt up, but it's not flat. The metal part is bent sort of."

"Is it the hub cap or the rim?"

"Uh...I think it's the hub cap."

"Is the hub cap going to come off? I don't want to lose it."

"Uh...I don't think so."

"We'll come look at it."

Mr. Mayhem and I hop in his car and we're both trying to figure out which curb she hit because there aren't many on the way to church. We're almost there when we reach an intersection where the road goes from being one wide lane to two narrower lanes. There's a low spot on the right side of the road and a broken curb. (No, she didn't break it.) We both said, "That's it."

The tire was a little more than skunt. It had a cut in it so we brought it home and Mr. Mayhem will go pick them up later. I didn't want her to come out at 9:00pm and find a flat tire. I'll take it to the tire place in the morning.

She was a little upset, but we told her it was good that she let us know about it so we could make sure she was safe. One of life's little lessons.

On with the show

Just two more nights of Vacation Bible School. Only two more nights to dress up as a geisha girl. I'm the "lovely assistant" to our wacky game show host for the opening assembly. (What ever happpened to saying the pledges, singing a few scripture songs, and praying?) I'm all dressed up in an authentic kimono, wig, white face, and big red lips. I told someone that they have no idea how hard it is to get your lips on straight when they go half way to your nose! I don't have to speak, just bow alot and annoy the host. I pout when he tells me to stop bowing. I also help the teachers prepare for their "challenges". This game is a cross between Jeopardy, Let's Make a Deal, and Fear Factor. How do I get myself into this?

Looky! Looky!

"I HAVE THE POWER!" Ok maybe we all have power now, but I got here first. And after reading his posts, I'm going to kill him. We made it through 90 1/2 hours of no power. In celebration, Mr. Mayhem and I took a nap. I'm so tired of being tired. I guess it sounds silly, but I'm tired of eating out. Tomorrow it's back to being good, on our diet. First, we have to go to the grocery store, and pick up our other food from our friend's house.

Mayhem #1 filled out half a dozen job applications this week. Three places were actually hiring. I hope they didn't call her while we were out trying to get cool. The answering machine and caller id doesn't work with no power. Maybe they'll call back. She was a bit overwhelmed by what all she had to write down. At least she didn't have to worry about the employment history part.

VBS starts tonight. All I'm doing is being in the opening skit. I'm the lovely game show assistant. I'll be in kimono, wig, and white face. It's a Japanese theme. I personally think it's a bit weird. Last year I wound up in a blonde beatnik wig, floppy hat, big sunglasses, and wild outfit. I was an under cover agent. It was fun to sit in the teachers' break room and watch some of the guys whispering together while they're trying to figure out who I really was.

I hope I can find time to blog later this week. Right now I'm going to get some more coffee out of my own coffee pot. Yeah!

How am I going to blog?

Well, school is out! (And there was much rejoicing!) But, how am I going to blog with both kids in the house. I guess I could continue to get up before the sun. I only have one lunch to make now. Mr. Mayhem says if Mayhem #1 gets a job it will be easy to work around Mayhem #2.

I hope she does find a job. She needs that experience. The problem is she's too picky. She thinks she can only work at certain places, like a bookstore or music store. Another problem is that alot of places want you to be 18 before they'll hire you. We're going to make her get started next Tuesday after she gets back from the state competition with her horn trio.

I better run. Here comes Mayhem #2.

I'm still here

I haven't had time to write much lately. I'm currently being Mom to two families. My friend that I was helping before still needs help, so I'm running her kids back and forth to school, taking her to the doctor, etc. It really stesses me, but she has no one else.

We have our last band concert tonight. Mayhem #1 is playing piano with the jazz band. Mayhem #2 had her play performance Monday and her talent show Tuesday. She was suffering from a stomach bug at the time, but we stuffed enough medicine in her that she didn't throw up on stage or back stage. Saturday we pick up Mayhem #1's costume for her talent show which is next Monday. She's playing Pirates of the Caribbean on the piano and dressing like Jack Sparrow (Excuse me. Captain Jack Sparrow.) Then next Tuesday is their piano recital. And I think that's all the big stuff until school is out on Thursday.

My anniversary was great. I loved my pork n beans. He made me cry with his post. I think I'll keep him. For now. Ask him about "Big Fat Wife Sweetie Face."

Tooth update

I thought I'd let you know that somehow I made it through the weekend with the pain in the tooth getting worse everyday. I went to the endodontist bright and early. She decided from the way I described this exquisite pain that the ligaments were inflamed. Now I'm on a six-day pack of steroids. Today I take six pills, tomorrow, five, etc.

After I took the first two this morning I started feeling very spacey and weird. I finally had to go lie down. Before I took the dose at lunch, I called the doctor's office and asked if I'm suppose to feel like this. After the allergic reaction last month, I'm a little nervous. I had read all the warnings and side effects. It could cause high blood pressure, which I just got back under control, so I went to the drug store and checked it. It was up a little, but not enough to make me feel like this. The lady at the office and I decided I'd take the next dose and call her back to let her know how I was feeling. I only had to take one pill this time. I let her know I was still a little spacey, but not as bad as before. Which is a good thing since I was driving around picking up kids.

Another of the side effects was increased sweating. No wonder I had to re-apply the pit stick and turn the ac in the car up to Arctic blast. I'm still waiting for the hallucinations.

When I told Mayhem #1 about the steroids, she laughed and said that now I know how she felt when she had to take her asthma inhaler. I was not amused. I told her to watch it because another of the side effects was mood swings. I told her I'd start talking like Awnold and have to "take her out because she was really bad."

The tooth is doing a little better. Now I'm off to take my four Advil and two steroids and go to bed before I get spacey. I'm a little afraid of what the dreams might be.

Back to my story

After the chaperone meeting, what we had to tell the kids was that we started performing at 8:30. That meant that breakfast was at 5:30 and they had to be on the bus at 6:30 in full concert attire. This is composed of tuxedos for the guys and "the lovely black dress" for the girls. The dresses are flattering on most body shapes, but the girls all seem to hate them. It is also know as "the flying cow dress." Don't ask me why. They had to bring a change of clothes because from competition we went straight to NASA.

We also had to read the rules to the students in each room. They can't be in the shower. The adults have to see every student. I had a room of seniors, a room of juniors, and a room of sophmores and freshmen. The seniors and juniors got an abridged version of the rules and signed the form that said they had been told the rules. The other room got the long version. All were told that if they messed up before noon they would be sent home with the revered retired band director who was leaving after he conducted the jazz band. Then we taped them in their rooms. This means we ran a strip of masking tape across the door jam and onto the door. If the kids open the door we know it . We had to assure the freshmen that they will be able to get out of their room if there is a fire. Duh.

Everyone made it to the buses on time and somehow the bus drivers made it to the high school that was hosting the event, but I swear they went the longest way possible. My mom, who lives in the Houston area, came in time to hear Mayhem #1 play with the wind ensemble and jazz band. Things seemed to go pretty well.

Everyone changed and we were off to NASA for lunch. That hamburger cost twice as much as a much larger burger from any fast food place. Now I know how the space program is being funded. Mayhem #1, her best friend, and I decided to go on the astronaut training facility tram tour. The schedule was tight. The place was crowded with all these other school groups. Unfortunately we had to wait in line for about an hour. When we finally got on the tram we had the priviledge of riding in the very back with the tour guide. I leaned over to Mayhem #1 and said, "Maybe it will be a hot guy." Ooooh!! She thought that would be great. Instead it was Melissa. A cute, perky college student. We had a good time with her. She was very enthusiastic and loved her job. She'd been at it for two weeks! We really appreciated the tour. Mayhem #1 was awed by seeing the actual places the astronauts trained. She kept saying, "This is so cool. This is the real stuff." It probably doesn't make any sense, but that meant alot to me. To know she appreaciated it. I went to an elementary in Houston that was named after one of the astronauts that was killed in Apollo 1. I watched them walk on the moon. Melissa wasn't even born then. Gosh, I'm old.

I'm starting to get loopy so I better go to bed. Paul Harvey and I will try to get to page 3 tomorrow.

Life keeps happening

Well guys, life seems to have gotten in my way again. I'll finish my story in a minute.

Do you remember that I went to the endodontist Monday to have my root canal redone? By Thursday the tooth was starting to hurt so I called the office. I got a recording that said that the office was closed the rest of the week for continued training. They did leave an emergency number so I called and left a message. The doctor called me back while I'm driving down the road, and after a brief discussion decides to give me an antibiotic. She asks for my pharmacy number and I told her I didn't have it right now because I'm driving down the road. Luckily I still had the prescription she had given my last month but never filled. I've been on the new meds now for a couple of days and my mouth hurts more now than before the first root canal was done. I'm sitting here waiting for the 4 advil and 2 pain pills to kick in so I can go to bed. Conveniently, the doctor will be back Monday from her conference in California. I think I'll be at her door very early.

Another mission completed

Mayhem #1 and I have completed the annual traveling musical mission known as the high school band trip. This year we went to Houston. The seniors were a little disappointed because this should have been the year we went to Disneyworld. We had a change in band directors this year and he wasn't comfortable trying to do a "big trip" his first time out. Oh well. It was still a good trip.

We left right after school on Thursday. Well, actually, we left right after we got the charter buses to come to the high school and not the middle school. This was a sign and we should have seen it. Charter buses! These kids are so spoiled. When I was in high school and our ROTC unit went on a trip we took a school bus. I've been from Houston to Pensacola, FL on a school bus. I've been from Houston to Bowling Green, KY on a school bus. These guys are such wimps.

We finally left after loading all the instruments and luggage. We were going to stop along the way for a fast-food dinner. The bus drivers decided to take the longest way possible. Mayhem #1 was on the lead bus and I was relegated to the second bus with the freshmen, sophmores, and problem children. My bus was hungry. We kept passing exits with lots of fast-food places. You know. The kind with enough places that 90 people won't blow them away. We finally called another chaperone on the lead bus and told them the natives were getting restless. They were surprised. They weren't hungry. Finally, about 45 minutes later, they stop at an exit that has three places to eat. I love Dairy Queen, but they have never been known for their fast service. The line of our kids ran out the door. I felt sorry for the locals who showed up and wanted to eat. Oh, and we were suppose to be back on the buses in 45 minutes. Didn't quite make it.

We were suppose to be at the hotel by 9pm. We got there about 10:15. The girls were on the second floor and the boys were on the fifth floor. The first thing I had to do was inform the former band director, who "retired" last year, but is now in administration, that he had to vacate his room because he was on the girls' floor. You have to understand that this man was the band director for 31 years. He made the band program. Most schools are good at football or other sports. Our school is good at band. It is the one redeeming quality of our little school. Anyway...He moved upstairs most graciously. After we told the kids to get in their rooms and be quiet. ("We're not the only people in the hotel, and the others are probably asleep.") We headed to our chaperone meeting so we could find out what we need to tell the kids before they go to sleep.

To be continued....I have to go pick up the kids.

Dust...my eye

My editor has recently told me that I haven't spent enough time blogging. My editor, however, has not had to do 47 loads of laundry, help a friend in crisis, deliver and pick up an extra child from school across town, volunteer at two schools, ferry the kids around, go shopping because I have no shorts or capris for this band trip, oh yeah, and pack for said trip!!!

I'll let everyone know about the trip when I get back. I can't do it first thing Monday though because I have to go to the endodontist and have my root canal redone. Yippee.

"Now, Mr. Editor, if you don't mind, I need to go finish packing."

I was a bad mom

I was a bad mom today. I had the audacity to wake up and be sick. I never knew you could get a stomach bug from blogging. At least I didn't cut my finger off.

I'm doing better now, although my stomach has some unhappy moments. The reason this made me a bad mom was I was suppose to go with Mayhem #2 for her band competition. It's held at a little amusement park, so the kids get to perform and ride rides. (Not at the same time.) She was crying when she left this morning. Part of it was because she didn't get as much money as she thought she needed to ride rides. And the other reason was, "Mom, now I wouldn't have anyone to hang out with."

I learned a long time ago that I had to be my kids' buddy. We've never turned them loose in the neighborhood. Mostly because there were no kids their ages that lived nearby. And because I was never comfortable letting them out of my sight. Too many nuts out there.

My kids are not the popular kids. They make good grades and follow the rules. How nerdy can you get? Mayhem #2 has a few girls she hangs out with at school, when they're not hurting each others feelings. But these friends aren't in her band so they didn't go on today's trip. I'm sure she had a good day. I'm sure I'll hear about it either way.

What can I say? Mr. Mayhem and I are fuddy-duddies. (Is that how you spell that? I've never seen it written out.) We were born 20 years too late for the lifestyle we would like to live in. You know what I mean. Everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone, and everyone' values were similar. The kids played up and down the street until they got hollered home for dinner. You could sit on your front porch and relax in the evening.

I'm feeling very old.

What store?

Do you remember when your kids were little? Quite a few of you only have to look down to remember. I remember when riding the escalator was a carnival ride and the glass elevator was too scary.

When we would go to the mall, we always went in at one of the department stores. After cruising around in there for a while, Mr. Mayhem or I would say, “Let’s go out to the mall.” Somehow, Mayhem # 1 translated that phrase into, “Let’s go to the out mall.” We still go to the “out mall.”

In the out mall, and everywhere else, there are tons of stores. Jordana mentioned the “car store” in a blog not too long ago. Ours was called the “car place” because we were there to get the car fixed not buy one. This is also back when we had a Ford. Need I say more?

Of course there were the usual “grocery store”, “shoe store”, “drug store”. I always got tickled with the “hair cut store.” One day, we’re driving around an area with lots of places to shop and eat. One of the girls pipes up from the back seat. “Look, it’s the donut store.” Mr. Mayhem and I are looking around for a Dunkin’ Donuts or Shipley’s Donuts. This is way before Krispy Kreme. Imagine my horror when I figure out that what has prompted this innocent statement are the o’s in the Hooters sign we just drove by!

This has been an inside joke for Mr. Mayhem and me for quite a while. We finally let the kids in on the joke recently. They had no idea what we meant by the “donut store,” or that they started it. Maybe we can blackmail them with it later?

Is it a sign?

Finally, here's the college road trip story. Several weeks ago I called and set up an appointment to have a tour of Angelo State University. I asked them to send me a map because I'd never been there. I never received the information, so the day before the trip I'm trying to find out how to get there from their website. With a little help from Mr. Mayhem and the atlas, I felt pretty confident that I could find San Angelo. I didn't know where to go on campus, however, so we printed off a campus map from their website. After looking at it, I was hoping that Mayhem # 1 could read it because it was way too small for me to read. (That's a whole other medical issue I need to get taken care of soon.)

Off we go at 8:00 am. The girls do homework for about the first hour and a half, and after that the gameboys come out. The bluebonnets were out in full force. (That's the state flower and they've seeded the side of the highways with them. Sometimes they're so thick it looks like water shimmering on the side of the road.) We made it to Abilene by about 10:45. Mayhem # 1 helps navigate me onto the correct state highway to go south to nowhere.

We're now on a two-lane road and still going 70mph. There's a sign that says we have 85 miles to go. It sure didn't look that far on the map in the atlas. Now that we're on a smaller road, the scenery is closer. Of course there are the usual cows and horses, but now come the buffalo, sheep, and goats. I never knew there were so many goats in Texas. One was so pregnant I said it looked like it had swallowed a 2x4 sideways. There was lots of cactus too. The girls commented on how different it made things look compared with the other grasses and bushes.

We had to go over some mountains and I think it was the Davis mountains. I know they don't compare to some of yall's mountains, but it was a change of scenery. As we started the upward trek, I spotted an 18 wheeler with a large tank of some kind. You know the "Wide Load" kind. I thought great, "Now I'm stuck and this will take forever." Luckily there were passing lanes so we blew him away. I noticed at the next uphill grade that there was a little car behind me and he acted like he wanted to pass me. I told him to come on when we got to the passing lane, but he didn't have the umpf to catch me. He became known as "Hampster Man". We teased him (without his knowledge of course) until he passed us on the downhill side.

We made it to San Angelo and negotiated our way to campus by noon. The tour is at 1:30. We still don't know what building to go to or which parking lot to park in safely. Things are not well marked. We decide to go back down the road to eat lunch because a) we're starving and b) our bums are numb. Over lunch at KFC, we figure out from the campus map which two buildings are administration buildings and decide to try to park near them.

We get back to campus a little before 1:00 and turn into the first parking lot to hunt for a parking spot and right in front we find a "Visitor" parking spot. Yeah!!! High fives all around! We go in the building, but it's the wrong building. We leave the car where it is in the very correct "Visitor" spot and walk next door. The admissions office had no reservation for us for the tour. They kept asking if I had called and I kept telling them yes. Luckily it was just a group tour so it wasn't a big deal. I was beginning to get bad vibes. We had prayed for wisdom before we left the house. I thought, "Ok, what am I suppose to be getting from this?"

The tour was ok. We had a good time, and the tour guide gave lots of good information. We didn't get to speak with anyone in the art department so that was disappointing, but we didn't know that we could've set up an appointment with a professor in advance. (That was probably in the packet of info we should've gotten after we made the appointment.) We didn't like the fact that most of the dorms were coed. The new building was basically like apartments. It wasn't separated by floors or wings. I'm sorry, but my barely 18 year old does not need to deal with the idiot boys right next door.

We finished the tour, filled out the evaluation, picked up a housing packet to look for the one all-girl dorm, and headed to the car. On the windshield is a $15 parking ticket!!! We're visitors! We parked in the "Visitor " spot! What more do you want? We headed back to the admissions office to get this taken care of. They say, "This has never happened before." They call the campus police and find out that they sometimes ticket those cars because the students will take they're parking placards off their rearview mirrors and pretend to be visitors. The tour guide and another girl admitted that they had done that before. They apologized and we headed to the car again, saying to ourselves that we hope there's not another ticket by the time we get there.

It's about 3:30 and I told the girls to finish their homework and we'd grab something to eat when we got back to Abilene. We get back on the road and then I start hitting all these little towns where I have to keep slowing down. That clues me in that I'm not on the same road because there was only one small town coming down. I don't know where I missed the turn off, but we figured out that we knew where we were and that we could get home from there.

I started noticing that the wildlife was changing. I pointed out several antelope. Then they noticed the llamas. The zebras finally convinced us that it was some type of nature preserve. After grabbing dinner at Sonic (nowhere near Abilene), I took another road to get back to the main interstate because going through the little towns was going to take forever. We finally rolled into the driveway at 8:00pm. Our bums were numb again.

About the school? I don't know. With all the things that went wrong, should I take that as a sign?

Tomorrow, tomorrow...

Once again life has gotten in the way of blogging. How rude. I'll get to my story tomorrow.

Road kill

I promised Terry I'd cover his road kill deficiency. The girls and I went out to San Angelo, TX Monday to check out a college for Mayhem # 1. To get there you go west to Abilene and take a left to nowhere. Most of the dead were skunks and raccoons. There were a couple of coyotes too. But whoever got the deer must have had major damage to their vehicle because it wasn't a small one. I'll tell you about the rest of the trip later today. I couldn't yesterday because I was waiting for the doctor's office to call me back. A few weeks ago they took me off my blood pressure meds to see if the weight loss took care of the problem. It didn't. Believe me.

I did it!

After the endodontist this morning, I went dress shopping. And I actually bought one! It doesn't look very Eastery. It looks very Hawaiian. It's teal with red hibiscus. I don't have to buy white shoes for it because I have some tan stretchy ones that will work.

Of course the problem is that the high for Sunday is suppose to be 57. That means I have to wear my frumpy sweater so I won't freeze to death. This always happens on Easter.

I'm taking the girls shopping tomorrow, and if they will cooperate, I'll look for a more Eastery dress for me. Oooo... I might buy me two dresses.

I hate the dentist

A little over a year ago, I had a root canal and crown done on a back molar. Apparently, the root canal didn't work right because it's hurt ever since. My dentist told me to go see an endodontist and get it redone. I've been putting it off because a) I don't deal well with major dental work; b) it hasn't hurt too bad if I don't chew on that side; and c) money.

Well, it now hurts too bad to ignore. They squeezed me in this morning to diagnos the problem. They told me to take lots of Advil regularly, and if that wasn't enough add the darvoset. If it starts swelling, take the anti-biotic. They'll fix it on May 3.

Another culinary delight

One day last week I made steak. Actually, Mr. Mayhem made it because that was the day I was doing my Rocky imitation...swollen eyes from the allergic reaction to new medication. For some reason I kept wanting to sing "The Boxer". And remember, I know the words.

Anyway, back to dinner. The steak was tough because it wasn't the best cut of meat. (It wasn't Mr. Mayhem's fault.) I've been avoiding it all weekend because I have a tooth that I need to have the root canal redone. I finally decided I could cut up the meat and make chili out of it. I started working on it and decided that was going to take forever, so I got out the blender. Of course when I told the girls this they didn't know what to think because they've only seen the blender used for liquid things. Actually, the blender did a nice job of shredding the meat.

I must admit that I use a kit from the store when I make chili. Mostly because that's the only kind Mayhem # 2 will eat. I didn't think I had alot more meat than usual, but it was a different texture so I had to modify things a little. I added the tomato sauce like usual and both kits. (I usually make a double batch.) Things were still pretty dry so I added a can of chopped tomatoes. Hmmm...and some water and that did the trick. I let it simmer for about an hour. I didn't put in the extra hot peppers. Once again, Mayhem #2 doesn't like spicy things.

The girls and I sat down to eat with our chili and cheese, and before too long we're all sniffing and guzzling whatever we're drinking. We decided our sinuses would be clear for the rest of the week. Mayhem #1 added sour cream to her second bowl to cut the burn. I added a little to the bottom of my first bowl just to finish it. Mayhem #2 has an extra bonus. She has the left over Irish soda bread from her school project so she's eating that with her chili. She eats very slowly most of the time and her food gets cold. I offered to reheat her chili, and she said, "No Mom. Really. It's hot enough." She finished the chili. And the bread, which she told me she couldn't finish tonight.

I can't wait till Mr. Mayhem gets home tomorrow. He loves it when his eye lids sweat!

That wonderful time of the year

Here I am trying to think coherently at this nutty hour thanks to daylight savings time. It's not like we don't have electricity and can't burn the candles frivolously. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. Mayhem # 1 doesn't know how to work the light switch, so, yes she does burn the candles. I'll be right back. I have to get her up so she can drain the hot water heater. Thank goodness it's gas. My editor suggested I try paragraphs so here goes.

Ladies, have you dusted off those white shoes yet? Unfortunately, I'm going to have to go shopping. You see, I'm 30 pounds smaller than I was this time last year. Even my shoes are too big. I like being smaller, but I have such a hard time shopping for myself. Mostly because I hate spending money on me. The girls and I went out last night, but didn't find anything for Mayhem # 2. She's sort of into junior sizes, but the styles...EEEEK. And the styles aren't much better for adults. I didn't look for me because all day long the girls had been fighting with each other. I decided to take them home and put them to bed. Yeah, you can do that with teenagers too.

I really need Mr. Mayhem to go shopping with me. I'll try something on and he asks, "Do you like it?"
"Yeah. Do you like it?"
"It looks nice. Let's get it."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe we can find one that's not so expensive."
"Gimme that." And off he goes to pay for it. That's the kind of help I need. When he buys more than one, I just about have a heart attack. (Not because he's cheap, but because there are so many dollar signs.) Wish me luck. I'm probably on my own this time. Of course I could make something, in all my spare time. Oh wait a minute. In all the years I've been sewing, I never have made anything for me. It's so sad.

Report on Retreat

Getting there was the first experience. I rode with a friend and since she didn't have the directions, I figured I was navigating. We both knew sorta where we were going. We left at 4:30 and thought we'd be there by at least 6:00 so we would have time to eat before it started at 7:00. My friend was the piano player for the event so she needed to be there a little before 7:00. We got there a little before 7:00, like 6:45 without dinner. The retreat was in a fast-growing area so the freeway was a dream with a million stop lights. We never did find the road the directions told us to turn on, but somehow we made it anyway. We had an ice breaker where you find people who match the comment in the box, like "Someone wearing blue." The problem with that was I'm so blind I couldn't read the comments. I know. I need to get my eyes checked. I'm just getting old and blind, what can I say. I won a door prize, but not the one I wanted. One of the little old ladies won the full body massage. The music was good and the speaker was good. When I'm going to have time to do the things she suggested, I have no idea. I felt a little left out because no one ever sat by me. (Except my friend when she was done playing the piano.) That seems to happen to our family wherever we go. My friend and I had fun together, although I did have to stop trying to help her get where we were going because she doesn't drive the same way I do. We did some shopping afterwards. I got some jewelry for the girls. I'm not very good at shopping for me. I got a few more smiles at church on Sunday from some of the ladies. So it was a good time.

I'm running away from home

I'm going on a ladies retreat tonight, and I'm a little nervous. I've never been on one of these before and I'm going this time because I didn't have a good excuse this time. Last year, the high school band trip was the same weekend. I've never felt like I fit in with the other ladies. I don't always feel very included either. As I told you in my first blog, I'm a bit of a dinosaur. I've also been more comfortable with guys. Maybe it's because I only had a brother, no sisters. Maybe it's because in high school I was in ROTC and on the rifle team. I like football and other sports. (As a spectator of course.) I can talk cars and identify military airplanes by silhouette. I have to admit, though, that there is a down side to guys. They're gross.

Well, I better go make that meatloaf.

All came back alive

Everyone survived the field trip. I did have to hold one little boy's hand, but I didn't wring his neck. I'm pro field trips, but why does every other kid in the state of Texas go to the same place on the same day as my group? We took 4 buses with 130 kids, but when we got ready to leave, we only had 3 buses. Seems the other bus driver wasn't a regular driver but an electrician for the district. Every field trip I've ever been on has had bus troubles. We had to cram everyone on 3 buses and three people had to take roll on each bus to make sure we didn't forget any of the little monsters darlings. As I called out the names they kept telling me that person was on another bus. I finally yelled at them that if I wasn't calling their name they needed to "Shut up!" Luckily the teacher stepped on the bus about that time so I had a little back up. You also need to understand that I hate to say shut up. To me it's just rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. My kids know when I say that, I've had way more than enough and another room would be a good place for them to be. By the time we got back to the school, I was thinking a sedative sounded pretty good.

One more time

After the fiasco at the cattlemen's museum, I'm surprised, but pleased, that the school is letting Mayhem # 2 and the rest of the other 7th graders go on another field trip. Tomorrow we go to the science museum. They are studying forensics in science and there is an exhibit at the museum. Last night she had to come home, watch the news, and take notes about two women who were abducted and locked in their car trunk. They were located through the cell phone tower they were using while they talked to police. The class was going to discuss the clues the police might have to follow to solve the case. This story led off the news and she was frantically taking notes. At the end of the news cast, they said the police would be holding a news conference soon because it was a hoax. She asked, "Mom, what's a hoax?" I had to spell it for her too. The teacher was most disappointed about the turn of events. Anyway, pray for us as we go on our trip, because if I catch one of these hooligans out of line, there's gonna be a crime scene!

Bon Apetit

Lee, this blog’s for you. (or should I say Chef Pincotti?)

Mayhem # 2 has a project in her Texas history class. They are researching the immigrants who came to Texas in the 1800’s or earlier. She chose the Irish. One of the things they have to have is a recipe from their people group. I told her haggis was out right off the bat. (I know that’s really Scottish, but she couldn’t decide which group she wanted.) Being the ever observant Mom, I noticed a recipe book the library had displayed around St. Patrick’s Day on Irish cooking. We looked through it last night and we’re alternately amused and grossed out. First she was appalled that 90% of the recipes contained some type of alcohol. I taught drug prevention classes at the school for six years so I guess it sunk in. Mayhem # 1 was amused with the recipes that contained Guinness. That’s her new favorite commercial. “Brilliant!” Most of the desserts were somewhat normal. However, the tea ice cream, whiskey parfait, and the Irish coffee jelly didn’t sound very appealing. The main courses seemed to be the most interesting. There was the tripe casserole or sweetbread and chicken souffle. Then we have the list of other body parts: calves’ brains in puff pastry; calves’ liver with marrow; pressed ox tongue; pigs’ feet with mustard sauce; loin of lamb in puff pastry; stuffed shoulder of connemara lamb; stewed ox tail; pheasants’ breasts in puff pastry with grapes and brandy sauce (That just sounds wrong!) ; and grilled chicken joints with fresh tarragon. Are you feeling all right, cause there’s more. How about some rabbit rabble, pigeon souffle, dressed crab (I prefer mine dressed over naked.), or skate with black butter? One of our “favorites” was the jellied eels. It was special because it contained the whites and shells of two eggs. I guess the shells gave it a little crunch. The other “favorite” was the winkle omelette. The name just killed me, so I had to break out the dictionary and find out what a winkle was. It’s a shellfish that eats clams and oysters by boring through their shell. This recipe also contained a “drop of anchovy essence.” Wellll doggies!

"To Serve You Better"

You know that when you see a sign that says, "Pardon our mess. We're remodeling to serve you better." whatever establishment you are in is lying through their teeth. Such as the grocery store that has installed the self check out lanes. Now after I've spent an hour trying to find what I like (which isn't always easy because they've discontinued it from last week) I have to check out the groceries too. Before I'd just put them on the counter and let the cashier do everything. Now I have to take the items out of the cart and scan them, put them in the bag, when the bag is full I have to put it back in the cart but that's impossible because my cart is still full of the rest of my groceries. Plus you have to slap the screen a few times because it knows you picked up the bag of groceries and it wants you to put it back. And while you are trying to scan your items the screen keeps telling you you're not doing it right. When you get to the produce, you have to type in the first three letters of the item. A whole lot of chaos happens when your screen can't find large limes, only small limes. You have to flag down some help. The help gets things going again, but then it's not ringing up the sale price. Flag down the help again and let them try to figure out how to override the price. Once everthing is scanned, then I get to scan my coupons, of which the screen only recognizes half. Flag down the help. Since I write a check for my groceries, I get to go see the help at another counter so they can take my check. So let me get this straight, I shop for my groceries, unload and scan my items, bag them, put them back in the cart, scan my coupons, go write my check, and take my groceries to the car, because there's not a bag boy in sight. What I want to know is, "When are they going to start paying me?"

I went to the store last week and discovered that things are about to get worse. Now you will be able to take a hand-held scanner with you as you shop and scan as you go. You will also have to put in a code on the produce scales so it can print a bar code label for you. Up until now only the froo froo market had those. I'll step off my soap box now, but I'm afraid I'll be looking for a new grocery store. One that doesn't want "To Serve Me Better."

Ta Da

Look! We're all here. Well, maybe not everyone because I'm sure I forgot someone, and for that I apologize. Now I can find yall from my place instead of Mr. Mayhem's place.

So embarrassed

Tuesday I went on a field trip with Mayhem #2 and about 40 other kids to the Cattlemen's Museum. Only in Texas. There were seven adults. The teacher broke the kids into six groups and she was going to float among the groups. The kids were told to stay with their group and not touch anything except the buttons that would make the little speeches about what you're looking at. These instructions were given at least twice. I had nine kids in my group and as soon as we walked into the exhibit area they scattered. All except Mayhem #2 and her friend. After about 5 minutes, the teacher called everyone together and told them that people were touching things because the alarms were going off. We had to leave the museum early because the alarms continued to go off so much that they had to turn them off. Another bus load of kids had gone earlier in the day and the museum praised them for being so good. Because of our kids, the two groups that were suppose to go Wed. couldn't go unless they had at least 10 chaperones. That was a subtle way of saying, "Don't come back." The really sad part was that many of the kids who were disobeying were the "honors" kids. The smart ones who you know know better. I've told my girls that being smart doesn't mean you know how to behave. I was afraid that this fiasco would keep the science class from going to the science museum, but I think that's still on for later this month. The trouble makers aren't suppose to go though. Mayhem #2 is excited about the science museum because they're studying forensics. If I'm going, there better not be any gross stuff. Some how I think I'm out of luck. I'm going and it will probably be gross.

The Pressure

I have a small problem guys. (The term "guys" means everyone and comes from watching too much Magnum P.I.. The main greeting was "Hi guys.") I'm a slow reader and I can't seem to get to everyone's blogs. Then it takes longer to think up comments. And sometimes I don't leave comments because I'm afraid I may not understand exactly what you're talking about and I don't want to show my ignorance. I have lots of blog ideas, but it takes time to get it all down. I have to be grammatically correct or Mr. Mayhem will correct it. (In case you didn't know. He knows everything.) So, I apologize for not getting to everyone's blog everyday. (Mr. Mayhem is laughing at this because he knows I mean it.) Remember, I'm new at this and please stop typing and scrolling so fast!

"They call him Flipper..."

I had to take Mayhem #1 dress shopping Friday night. Just getting out of the house was a comedy of errors, but we made it to the mall with two hours to shop. We did the typical cruise through the first store to check out what they had, and then proceeded to cruise through every other store in the mall because they may have something better and cheaper. Then it's back to the first store to buy something. The tone for the evening was set in the first store. She decided she didn't want anything that looked "suity". She wanted the drapey chiffon stuff. She pointed one out that had "bubbles" on it. I just busted out laughing. The dress was blue-green with trails of blue, green and white dots. I had to explain that that was the background for the opening credits of an old 70's show about a dolphin named Flipper. She tried it on anyway and luckily it didn't work. I don't think I could've looked at it without thinking, "Flipper." Of course I had to explain the show to her and sing the theme song. She thought everyone would be rescuing Flipper and I said no he was usually rescuing the people. She said, "Like Lassie under water." Yeah.

We also were looking at formals. You know. We have until the middle of May to find just the right one for band banquet. If you don't start now, the one you want will be gone. That's the other reason we had to cruise through the whole mall. Here we are in a little tiny dressing room with these huge dresses. She's whining about them being itchy. I'm telling her, "Wear a slip." I accidently picked up one that was completely strapless. I said, "Try it on. What the heck." (You have to understand. She's very modest, and this hot pink strapless gown was a shocker.) I'm behind her hooking hooks and zipping zippers and she says, "Mom, I don't think I can breathe." To which I responded, "Breathing's not allowed in this dress. What do you think holds it up? None of these dresses are made to be comfortable. They're made to make you look good." She's still thinking about that one.

Drama Mama

A couple of weeks ago Mayhem #2 tried out for a part in the UIL One Act Play. The play is The Princess and the Pea, and, of course, she wanted to be the head princess. You have to understand. This is the kid, that when younger, threw these amazing temper tantrums. Mr. Mayhem and I would stand and applaud and say, "The Oscar goes to..." Last year, the high school did The Music Man and they needed some younger kids for the crowd scenes. She winds up with the part of Amaryllis, partly because she can play the piano. She had to tease a boy, steal a scene, and play the piano badly. I told her, "There's no acting involved. You've been type-cast!" Last year, she got a minor part in the One Act Play, and the week before competition, she becomes one of the four major characters. She was the red-headed albino gypsy. Unfortunately, she didn't get a part in this year's play. She was devastated. Last week the teacher asked her if she would be the stage manager. We found out that she would be responsible for the props and their placement, as well as, making sure the actors were where they were suppose to be. And since our school is hosting the competition this year, she'd have to tell the other schools where their stuff went and where they needed to go. So basically she gets to boss everybody around. "Great, type-cast again!"

O S U R Part Deux

One of these days Mr. Mayhem is just gonna be dead...cuz I'm gonna kill him! The family went out to eat last night without Mayhem #2 who is on a student council retreat. We decided to go somewhere she doesn't like, and the choice was Razzoo's. Cajun is way too spicy for her and besides the bus stopped at McDonalds. We figured she go to eat out too. (Ssshhh. Don't tell. She'll be jealous. Unfortunately, we ran into her science teacher on the way out. If he says something to her next week we're busted.) Anyway, it must have been training night because we had a new waitress. There was also a brand new bus boy. We overheard the instructions about wiping off the table and the fact that the salt went in front of the sugar packets and the pepper went in of the Sweet & Low packets. We were waiting to order (which is something you do when you have a new waitress) when Mr. Mayhem reaches over and moves the salt and pepper so that they are longer in the appropriate places. I told him he was going to get that poor boy fired on his first night. I thought, "OK he'll put it back before we leave." While we're waiting on our food, I look down and he's taking all the sugar packets out of the holder and switching places with the Sweet & Low packets. He asks, "Is anybody going to help me?" What do you think, Bonehead? Mayhem #1 is trying to stay in her chair while she's laughing. I look around the room and inform Mr. Mayhem that our little sugar holder is now backwards compared to all the other tables. "It is? Really?" Believe me, "Momma has had enough!"

O S U R

You've heard the saying, "I can't take you anywhere." Well it applies to Mr. Mayhem. I informed all the Mayhems Monday morning that both schools had open house that night. I was the only one who knew that. Why am I not surprised? And why do they have both campuses have open house on the same night. It blows the whole night. Luckily the girls only had homework from two teachers each. Gee, "Come to open house, but do all 87 pages of homework too." I just don't get it. Back to Mr. Mayhem. In every classroom we had to wait to speak to the teachers until another parent was through. While I'm standing near the teacher waiting quietly, Mr. Mayhem is horsing around with the little Mayhems and making them squeal and/or bump into things. He's picking them up and carrying them around the room. I give him the, "Mom has had enough look," and he straightens up long enough to talk to the teacher. We move on to the next room and start all over again. We did this 14 times!!! The last room he makes a Kramer-style entrance. I guess he was trying to impress the French teacher. As we were leaving he said his ADHD must have kicked in. He kept getting bored. I'm not buying it.